"repent" by Yağmur Erdem for PAX AMERICANA FALL 2025

repent

 

how does one repent before it’s too late?

i spend so much time with my rage

too much time,

so by the time i’m calmer

i’ll have destroyed my faith

so much more than you have

when you pushed me down.

so much time, 

occupied with fury

time taken away 

from when i could be

repenting.

much taken away

from who i could be

a saint.

in sin did my mother conceive me

and so i wish i was forced to repent

before i knew my rage,

for innocence is good tempered, not sinless.

for i wonder how forgiveness would taste on my tongue

on which the aftertaste of the apple still lingers